Library Girl Thread

[Luciano U. Werner]

And what a big brink it is...

[Paul]

yeah man

[Paul]

*leans back in chair, smokes on pipe*<br><br>so anyway, i'm walking back into the library after, uh, some restroom relief... and shes coming through the door. <br><br>*tugs on brink. uh... braces, yeah, braces...*<br><br>due to the comical layout of said door, i cant hold it open for her and i'm already halfway through it so she has to wait for me to get through then i kind of lower my head and walk past in embarassment...<br><br>man, if i had got there bit later i could have waited on the other side like a gentleman.<br><br>the moral of the story? never rush your wee-wee.

[Jaybot]

no, the moral of the story is you should never worry about being a 'gentleman', you shouldve just burped right in her face and said excuse me.  THAT wouldve got her attention.

[Paul]

the weird thing is she doesnt have a bf. the other really weird thing is she hangs wih a girl whos also pretty and is notorious for not having a bf. the other really really weird thing is that i know that girl from high school and she was always... affectionate towards me in a playful way...<br><br>jesus: sound like you gotta plan there paul...<br><br>maybe i do jesus... maybe i do...

[Jaybot]

Bible Paul: Paul, remember, I'm in the Bible too.<br><br>Paul: I know, but you stole my name dude.<br><br>Bible Paul: Okay, just remember Paul, do NOT be yourself, try to make a completele ass out of yourself, and be a complete, cocky, over-confident jerk, who acts like he doesnt need the library girl and he gets along fine with out her.. but he wouldnt mind sniffing her panties.<br><br>Paul: Wow, Bible Paul thats some good advice.<br><br>Bible Paul: I know, dude, thats how I got in the Bible.  Oh crap, here come Jesus, gotta run! <throws down burning cigarette, puts it out with his bare foot, and runs up to meet Jesus>

[Paul]

i'd rather by myself. maybe she likes jesus jokes?

[MooseMaster]

Paul, maybe you should NOT start out with a jesus joke. Try quoting a good book or something. Like if she drops a book be real suave, walk up to her and say "it was the worst of times," then pick up the book and give it to her "it was the best of times" but not something that dumb. That's a bad example. I won't give advice any more . But girls really like well read men, unless they're slutty ignorant whores.

[Paul]

pfft, i shoulda known you'd pipe up with 'advice' - quote a book? hahaha yeah okay, wheres your girlfriend moose? what? i didnt hear you? <br><br>*presses ear to monitor*<br><br>WHAT?!?

[Paul]

actually i have a plan:<br><br>me: did you know, jelly can be used as an industrial lubricant?<br><br>her: hahaha you're funny, make love to me funny man.<br><br>nah, i'll just tell her my name, get hers, then say... oh i dunno, something like: did you know, jelly can be used as an industrial lubricant?

[Warren]

Excellent plan Paul!! But also meantion that (and I read this somewhere!) that it is "safer" to use a dairy-based (that would be milk-based, Paul) lubricant on the use of these "industrial lubricants". <br><br>As a responce to your previous post on your chic's other female friend - Paul, from your post, I think that maybe the reason that she's "notorious" for not having a boyfriend is maybe because she's a lesbian. <br><br>Jewish God - So Warren, how's your love life goin'?<br><br>Warren - Meh, not really goin' anywhere.<br><br>Jewish God - Really? You haven't scored with your Russian chic yet?<br><br>Warren - No, I've barely even gotten to speak to her, and she gave me the spiel about her "last boyfriend break up".<br><br>Jewish God - Oy vay! Maybe you should try talkin' you her some more.<br><br>Warren - I'd like to, but she's only in one of my classes.<br><br>Jewish God - Hmm, do you think that she'll get over her last boyfriend anytime soon?<br><br>Warren - Yeah, I'm planning on askin' her out again after Christmas vacation.<br><br>Jewish God - Christmas vacation! You mean Hanukkah vacation!<br><br>Warren - Oh! Of course! <br><br>Jewish God - Well, I give the best of luck, mazel tov! (Hebrew for good luck) Oh, and how's Return to Castle Wolfenstein? Do you kill a lot of nazis?<br><br>Warren - Ahh, yes, and the gore is quite good. It'll easily be game of the year. <br><br>Jewish God - Ah, I ordered mine from Amazon.com, but stupid FedEx lost the package as usual, but I'll be getting it soon. <br><br>Warren - Ah, you'll love the game! Shalom!<br><br>Jewish God - Shalom!

[Paul]

OY! hahaha

[Luciano U. Werner]

Did anybody see my keys?

[Paul]

is that prison lingo?<br><br>ugh...

[Warren]

And they say Village Ideot's posts are useless and pointless. Werner, come on.