PocketMatrix

It's liberating to shrug off emotion and attack someone with reason alone. Particularly, when you find that your emotions are confusing, contradicting, capricious. I'm done with the Republican party.

Once my aggression is worn away, I find it hard to deal with the emotions that drive it. The Dems make me feel like I've been rubbed raw. People react to me better when I'm not as kind as I'd like to be to them. Apparently, compassion is akin to weakness.

I wonder about my character. I like to win and sometimes forget who I'm hurting in the process. Sometimes I wonder if having character is really all that important. Politics fucking blows.

I fear I'm a narcissist, but at the same time feel like I should be. There's no doubt that American society wants me to be that way; why else would it push so hard for a success defined almost exclusively by image?

Being original was a major fuckarow.

Nothing is cut and dry: the fanning shades of gray are hard to contemplate; observing them only causes them to grow more numerous; they're different but impossible to tell apart. I'm wondering if that imagery only looks good in my head.

I'm having trouble balancing things. I feel paralyzed most of the time. I don't even know what I want anymore. I think life is "passing me by". I was immediately aware of how trite that sounds. I can't write without realizing that most of my sentences start with the letter I, and my fear of cliché sentence construction completely kills the creative process.

Committing to a future built on childish dreams and desires is the ultimate in foolishness. I don't want to make games anymore. That was hard to come to terms with--how do I justify all that time I spend playing the damn things? Can I enjoy things that don't necessarily of have lasting value without guilt? Not really.

I think I'm having some major identity issues. My cousin says I should pick up the reefa.

don't smoke pot.

I don't have any intention to. Seemed like a pretty effective method for killing the potential of my extended family. Last thing I need is something that will kill my motivation.

I want to resolve my issues rather than covering them over.

Smoking pot has nothing to do with an identity chrisis. It doesn't matter if you do, or don't smoke. Marijuana is, as far as I'm concerned, an excellent sleep aid. Oh yeah, it also makes you hungry. Beyond that, I don't see much value in it. It certainly is not an emotional experience for the most part. If you are looking for a drug that allows you to "sort things out" and such emotionally, you are looking more for mushrooms and LCD.

I'm not looking for drugs, unless you count modafanil. I'd rather sort things out using the frame of mind I use on a daily basis, as that's the frame of mind that will have to deal with the consequences.

In California, you can get medical marijuana for just about anything.

You're a fool, ChickenMan.

Brig, it's all cool. Most of us have had a similar identity crisis. I know I recently have and have yet to totally sort it out. Nothing much else I can say about that. You know that no one else can help you figure this stuff out. But the best way to cope with an identity crisis is to savor the smaller moments of life. It puts things into a new perspective, one that is easier to manage while you try to figure out who you are. Advice from personal experience. And don't let things affect you, don't lie in bed all day long, when you wake up in the mornings get up and find something to do. Try new things, other than drugs. Physical activity... I'm sure you know all this, but this time you're not hearing it from some conglomerated voice of society but from someone who has actually been there.

Hold on, how am I a "fool"? I'm not saying he should use drugs, I'm just saying that whoever told him that he should use marijuana is a "fool", as you would put it.