by Brig » Dec 27, 2003 @ 11:49pm
Speaking of purses, I just got my hair cut today. I should have brought a metrosexual with me. I wouldn't look like such a dumbass now if I had.
Her: "Hi, what would you like?"
Me: "Oh, um. Just fade it up on the sides. Trim it a little."
Her: "You want me to scoop it down at angle."
Me: "Um."
Her: "How close do you want it?"
Me: "I don't know, what's good?"
Her: "Like a one."
Me: "..."
Her: "I'll give you a mushroom cut."
Me: "What's that?"
She starts cutting. Of course she starts high, with the one.
Her: "Oops."
Me: "What?"
Her: "Nothing."
Goes back to butchering.
Her: "Okay."
Me: "Great."
She doesn't show me the back of my head with the mirror. I'm scared now. She walks over to the register and takes my money. I look at my hair in the mirror, and the masochist that I am, take great humor in the fact that my head looks like a penis.
Me: Laughs
Her: "What?"
Me: Nothing.
I go home, and try to fix my hair. It's skin close on the sides--not faded. I look like I fell out of the eighties. Then I realise that the haircut is not only bad, but there's a big patch on one side of my head too.
I go back, get it evened out by another hairdresser. Who says something along these lines. "I'm always the one that fixes it." I'm assuming she meant the butcher.
Lesson of the day: "If you don't walk away when your barber says mushroom cut, you come away looking like a dickhead."
Truth is a possession.
So what are you getting for Christmas?
